Is your life really as perfect as your Facebook status?

When did Facebook become a place to explore your ability to write fiction?  When did it stop being the "Social Network"?  Seems that today, everyone fancies themselves entertaining fiction writers.  Not that I don't enjoy your attempts at comedy...that is what you're doing, right?  So many posts about fantastic husbands, perfect wives, and let's not leave out the children.  Oh, these children are geniuses!  Nothing but straight A's for this bunch.  They are five-star athletes, Broadway dancers, and all-around nice kids.  REALLY?!  Does your husband do dishes, vacuum the house, clean out the litter box?  Or does he sit with his hand down his pants, watching the game while you do all those things after work, mumbling under your breath?  Is your wife as lovely as the day you met?  Does she wear nothing but skimpy dresses and heels as she twirls around the house feeding you all the delectable treats she's made for you during the day  Or...and this is probably closer to your reality...you come home to a woman you barely recognize, wearing sweats and one of your old t-shirts, screaming at you to deal with your kids because she's had enough?  Are your kids the stuff that the Brady Bunch writers used as an example?  I'd dare say they aren't.  I'll bet at least one of them swears like a truck driver, belches the alphabet, and has gotten a note sent home from school at least once.
Your vacations look like something out of a travel brochure, but is that really how it went down?  Didn't at least one of you get sunburned to a crisp?  You did go on a boat, right? Not one screaming, chunk-blowing episode over the side?  Come on, your kids didn't attempt to drown each other at least once?  Oh, and aiming your camera out at the water at an appealing angle doesn't change the fact that you are vacationing on the Jersey shore.
Many of you actually think that if you post really deep thoughts about kindness, I'll believe that you are a nice person.  The thing is, in general, I know most of you quite well.  I've heard the gossip spew out of your lips like venom.  Who am I to judge?  I talk shit with the best of them.  HOWEVER, I don't attempt to convince you of my enlightened state of being by posting all sorts of pretty pictures with quotes from the Dalai Lama.  Admittedly, I've been guilty of posting a nicety or two when I've erupted out of a bad place in my life. In general, I prefer to tell it like it is...the grim truth with no fondant flowers.  My ass looks fat today, I dropped 10 pounds of cat food on the kitchen floor and I'm trying to keep the hyperthyroid-driven cat away from what she thinks is a buffet from heaven, my coffee has gone cold yet again and tastes like bad ass...yeah, that's my day in a nutshell.  And I'm not afraid to tell you.  I don't care if you think my life is mundane or even worse, normal! When I read your status, share it with someone in my house who is just as cynical as I, and we share an evil laugh at your lameness...one of us is gonna scream, "Are you friggin kidding me right now?"