Other people's children or are you really attempting to negotiate with a 2 year old???

You!  Yes, you, the one having an intense discussion down on one knee with your toddler.  Did you just descend from another planet?  Do you really believe it's possible to rationalize with your two year old?  Hating to be the one to burst your happy little bubble, you cannot accomplish that goal.  They live in the moment, learn by pushing the limits, and don't understand half of what you are saying.  Yet, every day, I hear someone talking to their little one like a small, retarded friend.  "Dakota, I need you to please sit here for me while I finish this latte,ok, talk on the phone, and then we can go to the toy store or the park, it's up to you, ok?  But first, for your safety, I need you to just sit here, ok?  I will give you cookies and hold your hand, ok?  Then you can choose where we go next, ok?"  Or while walking downtown, right in a busy intersection, it's not uncommon to hear, "Please come back and walk next to me, Hunter, right over here, please.  Hunter, mommy needs you right next to her, please."  WTF?!?!   Did that seriously just erupt from your cakehole?Are you begging a child to behave appropriately? Grab that child by the hand and keep them next to you.  I'm not advocating violence, but for Christ's sake, you are still bigger. Some children actually need a little restraint.  And, NO, I'm not referring to the "pet kid" technique of putting your child on a leash.  You have two hands, use them.
While we are on the topic of appropriate behavior and some form of restraint, I am sick of going to restaurants, whether fancy or casual and having to listen to screaming children running in between tables, causing more chaos than little bulls in a china shop.  When did it become acceptable for children to get up from the table and wander around?  I'm not sure if you like other people's children whizzing past you, knocking your purse over, shrieking like banshees, and disrupting maybe the one time you were able to break away from life and enjoy a meal out...but I sure as shit do not.  Children can be taught from very early on to sit at a table and eat like a human being, joining into conversations when appropriate, and sitting quietly with crayons and paper when no food is presently available.

The fact that you are a lazy parent shouldn't affect me, but it does.  Every mistake you continually make because you are lazy, have screwed up priorities, or waited too damn long to have children, affects the world around you.  Watching you push your five year old in a stroller after you've just changed his diaper and handed him his pacifier makes me physically nauseated.  My eye rolling will be obvious and the huge sigh and snort will be loud enough for you to hear. As you glare back at me with that holier than thou look, I may glare back, or I may make a snarky comment on your lazy ass parenting and inform you that diapers aren't allowed in kindergarten.  You'll huff and puff, maybe assume I have no idea what I'm talking about...until my 16 year old daughter chimes in and tells you that your kid will require more orthodontia than you can afford keeping that plug in his piehole.  You'll storm off, and we will share a hearty laugh at your expense.  And as I look into my daughter's big green eyes, I just know I'll burst out with a very loud, "Are you friggin kidding me right now???"