Vicarious living...not for the faint-hearted.

If you have children, I'm going to assume you've lived through at least 12 years of your own schooling.  This includes activities, sports, friendships, and the like.  So tell me, then, why do you feel the need to foist your unrealized dreams onto your kids???  Did you not notice that they are not mini-yous?  Little Johnny may not be built for football, Dad. Cindy Lou may not like ballet, Mom.  Just because you peaked in high school and continuously attempt to reignite that flame even now, doesn't mean your child has the same goal. While I am at it, those of you that peaked in high school have my sympathies.  Someone failed to tell you that all of that didn't really count, that it was simply practice for the real world.  Your failures and successes as a teenager do not define who you are today.  They shouldn't.  Placing dire importance on status, looks, and sports in school only serves to rob your children of what they truly need...a childhood!  What's the percentage of child athletes that actually wind up playing pro?  Yeah...minimal!  How about those school play leads?  How many of them have you seen on the big screen?  Hmmm, that few? Exactly.

As you brag and drone on and on about your perfect children, take note of the glazed look on my face.  Not just my face but the faces of all who are unfortunate enough to be forced to listen to your ridiculous incessant accolade speeches about your wonderful, talented, smart, athletic, compassionate children.  Did that sound sarcastic?  Perhaps it was...perhaps there was a touch of irritation in my voice.  Any idea why?  Yup, I have my own kid.  She may not be perfect, but she's all mine and I love her.  There are no expectations of perfection in my house, only that you do your best and try to have fun. Sounds insane, doesn't it?  Parents who are so busy living vicariously through their children don't understand that philosophy.  "You've got to win!"  "Your intensity's for shit!" Remember those lines from The Breakfast Club?  You know you do.  Is that the message you want to send?  Not me.  

I was a drama geek in school.  Did that mean I forced my daughter to try out for plays and learn how to make people laugh?  Ummm, no.  She spent 13 years of her life as a gymnast.  I have all the coordination of a water buffalo on in-line skates.  She always made it look easy.  Not once did I sit around wishing she would have followed in my footsteps.  Not one time did I dream of a mini-me.  But you do.  You expect your child to continue the "legacy" you created...in your mind.  Or better yet, the legacy you failed to create because sports, drama, music, basket-weaving were just slightly out of your reach.  If your son plays lacrosse, it doesn't make you a lacrosse player.  It doesn't even remotely qualify you as a coach.  I don't care how many games you attend, none of his talent will rub off on you.  When his team wins, don't tell me WE won.  Who are WE?  Did you make the team?  Didn't think so.  Don't make me laugh behind your back. Because....I will, and with great gusto.  All while thinking, "Are you friggin kidding me right now?"