Thursday, October 17, 2013

She Said NO to Me!

This is the plaintive cry of today's children. "She said, 'NO' to me!" Indignantly stomping their little feet, crossing their pudgy arms across their chests and letting out screams that would curl your hair and having you call 911 thinking it was a medical emergency. Sweet baby Jesus! How dare that little fucker say no to you? Doesn't he know who he's talking to, that bastard?! I have a good mind to kick his ass from here to next Tuesday. Yeah, right. No is an essential part of life. Yet these kids today react violently when they actually hear it.  Why is that, you ask? I'll tell you why...their parents are giant pussies who are afraid to disappoint their little out-of-control angels. Parents fear being disciplinarians, making their children cry, having them, God forbid, say, "I hate you!" once or twice. Not realizing that they are setting these little shits up for failure, they cater to their every whim, bowing and scraping before their baby royals, and never letting them experience disappointment.

Life is full of disappointments, get over it. These assholes know that, they've all lived long enough to know that you can't always get what you want. Yet, they are teaching their kids that if they stomp hard enough and pout long enough, they actually can. Because that's all it takes. A little fussing and that toy, that ice cream cone, that puppy is all theirs. Sadly, this delusional way of thinking and behaving carries out into other parts of their lives. With other people who, frankly, don't love them quite as much as their doormat parents do. And this is where the issues begin. Without basic life skills, without the knowledge of how to interact appropriately with others, and without the ability to cope with disappointment, they thrust these semi-formed humans onto the rest of the world, sending them to school where the teachers have to attempt to undo all the damage these parents have done. And you know what? We don't appreciate the extra work. It's hard enough dealing with children of decent parents and their ups and downs, quirks and oddities, mood swings and bratty moments...but seriously, do you think we are miracle workers?



There's nothing like being in a store and listening to a child order a parent to buy them something, then hear the idiot parent try to reason with the child...which is only a stalling tactic because inevitably the little one wins. For some, all it takes is the sight of tears forming in their baby's eyes to reduce them to a bowl of mushy dumbassness. For others, they seem to delight in pushing it to an all-out tantrum, complete with screaming, sobbing, items being thrown, and either foot-stomping or rolling around on the floor. I say delight because at that point, you are involving everyone in the store around you. Now, instead of enjoying a little Target shopping and picking up a few cute items for my kitchen or bath, I am thrust into your mistakes. Your fuck-ups as a parent permeate the entire building and I am forced to share my Jedi Death Glare with you. Sometimes, not all, I will offer indirect parenting advice in the form of loud musings in your general direction. "Exactly who is the parent here?" and "Are you really reasoning with a 3 year old?" Some days, I've less patience and it turns into, "Grow some Goddamn balls!" I'm filled with suggestions, just ask me.

Again, this is why children today cannot fathom a reason for another child telling them NO when they ask for or demand something from them. They've never heard the word! Perhaps they simply don't know what it means, but they recognize that they don't like its connotations...they aren't getting the desired result. No is bad. No is evil. No is not bueno. No starts mini-riots on the playground...Lilliputian throwdowns. The ones who are fully aware of its meaning, yet still won't accept its use as it applies to them, somehow find it perfectly acceptable to fire it at other children...out of spite. I've seen it, so don't try to tell me that spite doesn't happen till middle school. If you really believe that, I have a lovely bridge to sell your clueless ass. These spoiled, indulged spawns of hell have the capacity for malice aforethought. Ask anyone who has seen a child pull a toy out of another child's hand and laugh manically while the injured party cries. I'm entitled to whatever my little heart desires and you, most certainly are not. Nice, huh?

Read carefully, oh ineffective parents of today, stop what you are doing! These brats are tomorrow's assholes, jerk-offs, bitches, back-stabbers, and verbally abusive shit heels. These little ill-mannered shits grow up to be someone's employee, boss, husband, or wife. The lessons you've ingrained into them will follow them for life. Treat people like shit, demand what you want, and have a fit when you don't get it. You've told them that the world owes them a favor for simply being alive. Is it any wonder the country is in the condition it is today? Now do you know why our government shut down? Seems like their mommies didn't tell them no, either. Are you friggin kidding me right now???




Thursday, October 10, 2013

Sometimes You Just Need to Rant

Some days are better than others, on that we can all agree. But when I go online to scan this blog and see that the last one was only partially published because Blogger was having issues last month which I tried to circumvent by copying and pasting the text after being told there was a problem saving it, there was a problem trying to preview it, and they were just having all sorts of fucking issues because why the hell not? Now I look like a buffoon who can't complete a thought. Which, as any of you who read my posts knows, is quite the opposite, as I do ramble on and on like a psychotic with a caffeine IV drip. With all the advances in technology and all the schools willing to teach you assholes how to maintain your websites, how the fuck is it that every day I encounter yet another site that is either down or experiencing technical difficulties?!?! I'm certain it has something to do with the fact that most people dealing with technology today haven't attended a four-year college, much less one that has Institute of Technology in their name. No, people get away with going to DeVry or ITT Tech for 18 months and get jobs making more than I do, knowing far less about computers than some preschoolers. That's what gets rewarded in our country, taking the lazy assed way out and not giving a flying fuck about a real education. Gives kids today no incentive, why bother?

Of course, that was just compounded by the response it took the fine folks at Michael Kors three days to compose to me. Three days in the making and they asked questions that were clearly answered in the original email to them. They even had the balls to ask for a photo, as though I hadn't sent three in the initial email! I'm sorry, but do you fuckers who work in customer service even read the first communication sent to you or do you just copy and paste the form letter given to you by your employer which is written to appease the masses but not address the actual customer personally and discuss the problem at hand? As I'm sure you can imagine, that first email was thorough, descriptive, and contained close-ups of the tearing and peeling leather loops on the straps. This didn't stop them from asking for those exact details again, along with the number from the plastic tag on the seam that proudly announced that my precious purse had been made in China!



Jesus H Christ, is everything made in China? What exactly is made in the USA these days besides assholes and morons? Everywhere I turn, someone is behaving like a total jackass. Every man for himself, fuck everyone. At least that's what I'm noticing. Doors being dropped on the person entering behind, carts being thrust in front of someone approaching a checkout line just to be first, bikes taking up half the road and being pedaled in the wrong direction, crotch rockets jetting in and out of car-jammed lanes on freeways, sexist burger commercials making eating like a slob sexy for women yet simply sloppy for men (Carl's Jr, you know to what I am referring), children's medicines coming in squeeze packs for sucking just like the pureed food packets that parents insist on giving children who are more than capable of using utensils...buffoons and fuckwads as far as the eye can see and beyond.

Speaking about buffoons, since when are people like Miley Cyrus let off the happy farm to infect our airwaves and vision? Not only can she NOT sing worth a shit, but good Lord, am I the only one who thinks she looks like an ugly boy? Women who shave their heads like that and aren't part of the punk scene, are screaming for attention because they are too heinous-looking to get it any other way. Some faces require a bit more coverage and camouflaging. This dumb shit was ridiculous as Hannah Montana, but young girls look up to trailer trash all the time, so she fit the bill for Disney. Now, she wants to break out of the "good girl" mold and look and act like a filthy, no-talent, whore. Well done, Miley. You've succeeded in humiliating yourself and further revealing that you are nothing but a Hollywood puppet, willing to do anything to be noticed. How about voice lessons and clothing that covers that sorry, flat, pasty white ass?



And why do bad things happen to good people while all the rotten, selfish, bitchy motherfucks seem to step in shit and have the luck of the Irish bestowed upon them on a daily basis. It just seems like the bigger the asshole, the better life they are allowed to enjoy. God forbid you are a basically good person who cares about your fellow man, puts the needs of others before your own, doesn't put an emphasis on material acquisitions, wouldn't dream of shoving any semblance of good fortune into the faces of those who may not be in your shoes, and has the common courtesy to show respect for all, even those who don't deserve it...you can be sure you'll be getting the shit end of any deal. You are the one who has a giant rain cloud hovering over your head. The Cunty McTwatstains of the world are the ones winning at the blackjack tables, getting raises for absolutely no reason except perhaps the ability to suck up better than the average Joe, getting knocked up while others who would kill for the honor of being a parent try over and over unsuccessfully, and living a life you can only envy because good goes unrewarded. Yeah, there's definitely something wrong with the world.

Am I in a foul mood? No, not really. Did I have a bad day? Nope, having a lovely morning, thanks for asking. Have I had a moment or two to think about a few things that have been getting under my fucking skin lately? You bet your sweet ass I have, and there is so much more stuck under there like a splinter jammed under a fingernail. Oh, you'll read about it...at great length because I shouldn't be the only one aware of how many things simply suck about the world in which we live. Remember, sharing is caring. Except when you have a cold, then sharing is completely fucked up and you should be shot on sight for not staying home and keeping your snot to yourself. Are you friggin kidding me right now???