Wednesday, April 1, 2015

You Don't Know Shit, Part 2

Did you think I could stop there? Did you believe that was all there was? Sadly and unfortunately, you people give me more than enough fodder to discuss daily. I have to limit it so that my sanity isn't affected, such as it is. Someone needs to stop me from hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning. I'd swear that's the cause of this headache. I'm sure it isn't the pitcher of margaritas I helped polish off last night. In any event, the sheer amount of stupid I encounter, not so cleverly disguised as a wealth of intelligence, is enough to give anyone a fucking migraine. I'd ask why you do it, why you flood the feeds of the innocent with all this senseless bullshit, but I fear the answer. This fear is not your typical fear. This is fear of hearing something so fucking moronic that my brain might actually explode inside my cranium. Without further stuff and nonsense, let's get back to discussing the rest of the things that don't belong in my feed or any other unsuspecting schmuck's feed.

5.  Diet/exercise: Do you do it? Wonderful for you. Do you follow a certain way of eating? Party on with your big, bad self. I have total respect for those trying to better themselves in a world filled with temptation and tasty snacks. Those I have no respect for are the ones trying to shove this shit down my throat. "It's the only way" "It's the RIGHT way to lose weight" "I'm at the gym doing XYZ workout and here's a link to the article I found that showed me the light" Dude, if I want to lose weight, and right now I am fighting my own battle with the bulge, I know how to do it. I don't need 379 articles that you've found, oddly while sitting on your ass, that have convinced you that their way is the only way. Here's a little advice, instead of sitting in front of your computer with a giant Costco bag of potato chips researching diets and the latest fad workout...get up, step away from the computer, and go for a walk, leaving the chips behind. Crazy theory, I know, but give it a try. My philosophy on weight loss has always been the same. When you are ready to do it, it will happen. And for fuck's sake, just put the fork down.

6.  The Vaccination Debate:  I have talked about this more than I care to, but I feel it requires another go 'round. What you do to your own child is completely up to you. What goes on in your house is your business and no one else's. If you choose to expose your child to diseases being reborn in the US by foreign travelers and those coming here to the land of the free to set up shop, that's on you. I don't agree with you and I resent you for exposing me and my family to these godforsaken germs unnecessarily. However, you do you whatever way you see fit. But, I don't need the flood of articles supporting your asinine decisions complete with your ranting and raving about how you've made the best decision for your child and everyone else is poisoning theirs. I can assure you that I'd never poison my child and that her health is a top priority for me. I would never put something in her body that I haven't (or wouldn't) put into mine safely and without incident. Let's review. All of us born in the late 60s and early 70s, my peer group, have had every vaccine out there known to man except the new ones that have become necessary as of late, like the hepatitis ones, the HPV one, and the amazing varicella zoster vaccine that could have prevented me from getting chicken pox when I was five. We've had vaccines that became obsolete because everyone was sufficiently protected for so long that the diseases left our country. Although, some are returning...wonder why??? How many of you, let's get a show of hands, have gotten deathly sick, become autistic, or gone full retard as a result of being fully vaccinated? Hello? Anyone out there have a hand to raise? Hmmm, just as I suspected. We are all here, healthy as horses, and reasonably intelligent. Amazing. Get the fucking point???



7.  Daily Affirmations:  Stuart Smalley you are not. We all enjoyed his character and still do in reruns. As a matter of fact, a co-worker and I quoted him just the other day and shared a lovely amount of laughter. You are not Stuart. Don't try to be. There's one thing I cannot stand and that's someone who is generally a loser, trying to boost themselves up publicly by posting nonsense on social media that I will wager to bet, they don't even understand. Worse still is that loser trying to boost up the people on their friend list by posting this shit. None of us are flying around on angels' wings thinking positive thoughts and feeling better about ourselves because you posted some fucktardation on Facebook. We are getting through our days like grown ass adults because it's what we do. Life-sucking platitudes are just that. No one needs to read them. It's a bunch of people writing crap that makes them think they feel better about the shitstorm that is their life. The fact is, only you can make you feel better. Take a walk, listen to music that takes you back to a better time, look at old photo albums, call a friend. Any of this making sense to you yet? I can't beat this into your head hard enough. Stop posting the feel good shit. It actually makes me need the other half of my Zoloft.

8.  Religion/Bible Thumping God Pushers:  For the record, I fully support freedom of religion. It's a constitutional right in this great country. I do NOT support your right to push your religion in my face all day, every day. Any of you who are Catholic will agree with me here. The bible does state that those who pound their chests, screaming about God on the street corners are phony motherfuckers.
Matthew 6:5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward." Just proving that I went to Catholic school and am not trying to be a total bitch.  When you post all your religious shit on Facebook, you are being a total hypocrite. Telling me that I don't love God because I won't repost or share the dumbass photo with Christ on the cross is absolute and total nonsense. You don't know how I feel inside, what I believe or don't believe. Nor should it matter to you. Just like I don't give a fetid shit what you believe. That's your business and none of mine. What kind of asshole believes that Jesus has a Facebook account and is checking to see if you shared that last post? The kind that just reposted it, feeling all self-righteous. Damn, you are a special kind of stupid.

Again, I must remind you, you don't know shit and you don't know Jack Squat. The actual amount of knowledge you have about basic things could fit in my one and only cavity, leaving room for the filling. Stop embarrassing yourself and your mother by being on social media all goddamn day, posting this bullshit. You are dumb enough on your own, you need not prove it each day publicly. We can see you're stupid from miles away, I daresay we can smell it. Pick up a book, get a hobby, get a life, for Christ's sake. I sense my friend list about to be thinned out very soon. Think you are immune to the purge? Are you friggin kidding me right now???


For those of you who were busy posting moronic articles and missed Part One:
You Don't Know Shit, Part One