Many of you own it to death. Like the mini-"guidos" who like to work out 8 hours a day in order to look like what can only be described as miniature Schwarzeneggar replicas. What they don't realize, is that the wider they get, the shorter they actually look! So pump that iron, Sal, you look like a stocky garden gnome now. What I enjoy about these guys is the more muscular they get, the more bad ass they believe themselves to be. Their speech patterns change and they start to sound like extras from the set of The Sopranos. Here's a little advice, tiny Tom, working out doesn't make you Italian, so try talking like the little WASP-y nerd that you are. I'll respect you more and you won't look quite so fucking retarded.
And please, tell me why these puny little shits all think they are comedians? Maybe I don't share their comic genius or maybe, just maybe, they aren't funny at all. Just loud. What they lack in size, they make up for in sheer volume. Jokes that aren't funny don't BECOME funny at increased decibels. Joe Pesci pulls it off quite nicely, he's short and funny. YOU aren't Joe Pesci. Don't adopt an accent, don't try to sound tough, and don't...do not try to be funny. You either are or you aren't, no in-between. Little man, you don't look any bigger by increasing the volume on your bad jokes about women. Generally, that is the topic spewing out of these dwarfy little fuckers' mouths.
While we coasting along that highway, why do these diminutive macho men all sound like woman-haters? They criticize and judge each and every woman that passes them on the street. Because you are such a fucking catch??? Really, my friend, are all the mirrors in your house broken? We come in all shapes, sizes, and altitudes. Maybe that frustrates you? Maybe because you know we wouldn't give you a second glance if you weren't screaming out your opinion of our appearance. I really don't give a moose testicle what you think...shut your fucking piehole when I walk by and nobody gets injured. You nudge and comment to your buddies, trying to sound like you are so hot. The fact that I can look directly into your eyes and probably have more muscle tone than you do should scare you, at least a little bit. Plus, the reality of the matter is, I wouldn't hesitate to junk punch you right in front of your cronies. Put a little perspective into your life...Queens-style.
How about that same wee-man at the bar? Talking big, gesturing wildly, getting louder by the minute. He finally screws up by saying something about someone else's girlfriend and all hell breaks loose. The boyfriend turns to you and asks if you have a problem. You, in all your pint-sized glory, open your flap to respond and what comes out embarrasses onlookers FOR you. Threatening to kick the boyfriend's ass was likely to be what you believe to be your finest moment, and what we see as your dumbest. The amount of aggression shown by you, French fry, is disproportionate to your deluded actual ability to carry through your threats. The other guy doesn't really want to beat the living shit out of you...your vertically challenged state makes him look like a bully for even wanting to hit you. But, you are of age, so you go flying across the bar, sending glass and alcohol sailing everywhere. He walks away, satisfied that you've learned your lesson...and you are lying on the bar floor screaming for him to come back so you can finish him off. Do you ever shut up? Nothing phases the blissfully stupid, or the totally deluded assholes like you.Ladies, unless you are excruciatingly tiny, do not date this guy. Life is too short to dance with little men. Life is too short to deal with their overcompensation for not being man-sized. Unless you enjoy being able to throw him over your shoulder and carry him like the petulant child he is, take a pass on this dude. Would I ever date someone shorter than I am...are you friggin kidding me right now???
Wow. You're a bitch.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'm 6'2 by the way (so don't even think about going there you vindictive cunt).
I happen to be short, as well, ass monkey. And crack open a dictionary sometime soon, vindictive means disposed or inclined to revenge. Who was I taking revenge upon in this post?
DeleteHaha this was hilarious. You're actually worse than the poor shorties in your rant. You're also unattractive. And fat.
ReplyDeleteTotally! I am HUGE...obese!
DeleteAre you so lacking in intelligence that all you can do is resort to insulting my appearance?
I feel bad for you. Must be hard to be so dumb.
Dumb bitch, don't judge short people if you don't want to be judged like the human scum, used bitch that you are, i'm 6'4 and my brother is 5,4, and he doesn't have napoleon complex, but he's always suffering thanks to superficial bitches like you, you will never find love, no matter how many dicks you eat, bitch
ReplyDeleteI suppose the fact that I am married...and if you'd read any other post than this one, you'd know that...has no bearing for you?
DeleteNo superficiality here, just observing life. I can see you are an angry person. You've shown me that tall people can have inflated opinions of themselves, too. You feel quite powerful insulting me here. Have at it, buddy!
Sounds to me like we need another post. Even tall people can be assholes. Ironically, all these anonymous posts are from tall people ;-)
ReplyDeleteAssholes come in all shapes and sizes! I may need to formulate some observations about tall angry people!
DeleteRetard ugly bitch, who cares what she thinks? WAIT, nobody cares!, you will never see this stupid opinion on TV :)
ReplyDeleteAre you so lacking in intelligence that all you can do is resort to insulting the appearance of shorties?
As i said, no matter how many weddings you will have, dumb bitches like you will always be unhappy, you can say NO, i'm not, but you know that is not true, just read your own post, you are a fat, and angry woman. Hating shorties, other angry people, etc...
Have you read ANYTHING else but this particular entry? You are so focused on "shorties", which I think, isn't the nicest way to refer to people who happen to be MY height. Because if you had, you'd see that I am not insulting one group exclusively.
DeleteYou'd also see really big words that may confuse you, so have a dictionary handy.
Not only have I been happily married for 20 years, but I'm also a pretty small person, short and thin. There goes your super-informed assessment of my size and demeanor.
Your anger is hilarious to me! Maybe you need to get laid? You seem very uptight.
You aren't pretty smart don't you?
DeleteDoes your husband touch you?
You are getting fat, maybe you eat too much, thats bad for your health :(
I've noticed that the angrier you get, the worse your grammar becomes. Soon you'll just be banging the keyboard with your fists.
DeleteI wasn't aware you could see me. Hope my raised middle finger was crisp and clear.
Thanks for your concern about my health, I'll give careful consideration to your advice.
You crack me up!
How a post about the general behavior of short men you've come across, pointing a finger in no particular direction, can elicit such hate-filled and ignorant responses baffles me. So a well-written blog makes you stupid in the eyes of someone who cannot form a sentence? And people who don't know you have accused you of all kinds of falsehoods -- such as having a weight problem, being lonely and unhappy, having no husband? If people don't like you and your opinions, they don't have to read your blog - or your responses to their posts. Seems like there's a lot of compensating going on - the usual loud and rude to cover ignorance and stupidity, and perhaps a little of that huffing and puffing bravado to make up for lack of natural endowments of all kinds.
DeleteGood post by the last anonymous person. The blog was about certain type of people, not all short people. It was a funny rant. I don't see a statement insulting a group of people and calling them all ugly or stupid. It was a behavior, and it was funny. Enjoy the humor. If you don't like it move on. Being mean and rude to a person, while defending another is horrible. And, even for a moment, if this was a serious post, and you disagreed, how about defending your point intelligently. Perhaps, something like, "I have not seen this behavior", or "I am short and I own a truck because I like them". As the tagline goes ... "Are you friggin kidding me right now?"
ReplyDeleteTo the poster who says you would never see this on TV, again as the tagline goes..."Are you friggin kidding me right now?" if seinfeld was still on the air, I could totally see elaine making these same observations and george getting a big truck
ReplyDeleteI globally agreed with your post until the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteAny person who's having a gross behaviour deserves to be criticised, regardless of his/her height.
So, I thought you were having a point until you asked this rhetoric question at the very end of your post: "Would I ever date someone shorter than I am...are you friggin kidding me right now???"
Wait. Hating smaller men who overdo it, I can understand. But hating a fine person who just happens to be smaller than the average? Seriously?
Ohhh now I see where some smaller men's complexes come from. And I gather that those who are to be criticised in the first place are girls of your kind (and the smaller they are, the taller they want men to be; funny how they project their own complexes onto others).
Perrier, you are funny! You've done to me what you claimed I did to short men. I happen to enjoy being a short woman. Perhaps you're an angry amazon? That's cool. Read the rest of my blogs before you call me out on what you believe to be my character.
ReplyDeleteBitches and whores.
ReplyDeleteFucking ugly bitch with horse teeth making generalizations. One kind of people I won't date is ugly and bigoted people.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you either cheated on your husband with a guy like this or you just saw the many videos on tiktok that are exactly like this and thought nobody would call you on it after seeing it, also I'd beat the shit out of you if I ever saw you in a bar, you're talking on here like you're hard as fuck but I guarantee all you are is a punching bag for your husband
ReplyDeleteAh yes, a rant from a female who is probably very loud and likes hot chip. Lemme guess, after you published this you went and got your nails did huh? Also I guarantee the only reason you even felt the need to go off like this is because some dude called you fat and you decided that all men like him had to pay. And lemme just say, you are approaching whale sized proportions, and the only thing you'd be able to do to anybody in a bar is either sit on them or eat them. Shamoo headass, get yo big ass back to sea world, I didn't pay to watch whales only for you to be on social media thinking you're a human
ReplyDelete