Nowadays people are waiting longer and longer to get married. They claim to be putting their careers first. I say balls. Many of you have jobs, not to be confused with high-powered, heavy-hitting careers. The fact is, either you are so unmarketable in the dating arena or you have become so picky, nobody meets your unattainable criteria. Let me let you in on a secret...you aren't perfect! Nobody is, and expecting them to be is unrealistic. I know marriage is a contract, and to a certain extent, a financial agreement. However, I am seriously starting to wonder when it became such a cold process? Where do you work, how much do you make, what does your father do, where do you live, what college did you attend, what's your five year plan? WTF!?!? What happened to sharing things in common? Enjoying the same movies, music genres, tastes in food...those used to be part of the dating litmus test.
More and more people seem to have such high opinions of themselves, usually unfounded, and as a result, there are a lot more single people well into their 40's. Coincidence, I think not. These are the same people creating desirable versions of themselves on dating websites. Trust me, nobody believes half of what you are putting on there. Everyone becomes outdoorsy, well-read, cultured, motorcycle riding, water skiing, travelling foodies in their dating profiles. Riiiiight. Totally convincing. Looks good in print, doesn't it? Wait till you have to prove it. You'll look completely retarded...but that's ok. Your date will, too. He'll be balding, fat, and dress like he shops at the clearance racks at Kmart. But he said he was a gym rat who ran five miles a day, had hair you could run your fingers through on a moonlit night, and dressed in Ermenegildo Zegna. Trying to hide the shock on both your faces will be exercise enough. More than either of you have had in years, although your profile says much different.
This brings me to the morphing some people tend to do from relationship to relationship. They begin to take on the characteristics of the person they are currently dating. Suddenly, the punk-loving, poetry-reading, night owl transforms into a country music aficionado who line dances, rises at dawn, and sky dives. You do it so convincingly at first because you don't necessarily have to prove it yet. Then it happens. He makes sky diving plans and you are totally invited! Holy shit, now what? Sure, you can get "sick" the first time and beg off the invite. But then he asks you to go to some honky tonk with him to line dance. Country music makes your skin crawl. You've made excuses, now it's time to put up or shut up. The next thing you know, you're buying Jason Aldean CDs and wearing plaid shirts. Who the fuck are you? Do you even know anymore?
Pretending to be someone you're not in order to maintain a relationship is no relationship at all. You can't keep it up forever. One day you think it's just trying new things, the next day you are taking catechism classes to convert religions! It's not normal. Eventually, it will wear on you and the person you are with at the time. It's not you and keeping up the facade is way to much work. Is this person really worth changing everything about yourself? Shouldn't they love you for YOU? Not some made-up version you've created to suit the situation?
This seems to be the rule rather than the exception as far as I can see. It's horrifying to watch people you've known for years morph into clones of their current partner. You know different, you've seen them at their best and their worst...and this person is NOT the one you know at all. It makes you want to scream and shake them, hoping to wake them up from their embarrassing imitation and bring them back to reality. But you can't. They won't hear you. They're in LOVE. Or so they think. The need to partner has taken over their ability to be logical and rational. Could be the ticking of a biological clock, could be loneliness, but more likely it is the desperation of someone who has waited too goddamn long to get married and now they are willing to wear a freaking mask to snag a mate.
People who tell me that I was a baby when I got married at 21 just sound jealous. Marrying for any reason other than love was just not an option. Are you friggin kidding me right now???
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