Following yesterday's blog, I thought it was only fitting to continue along those lines and dive right into older parents. Now, I know this is going to piss a ton of people off, and frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. You are all entitled to my opinion, I'm quite generous that way. Has anyone else noticed that parents are getting older and older? Again, we fall back on the very worn-out excuse of putting the career first, family second. If you were a Supreme Court judge or neurosurgeon, I'd totally understand focusing on your career and getting all your ducks in a row before adding to your family. But, most of you, and yes, I am using gross generalization, don't have such illustrious careers that require years of effort before having children.
What I am seeing is an entire generation of selfish bastards who want to live like married singles for as long as humanly possible before finally deciding that the one thing they don't possess in their lives of excess is a child. By this time, you've already become very set in your ways, don't deny it. A child is not another acquisition. Not that you'll treat it as such, but that's how it starts. Let's see, we have a house, a summer home, a boat, three cars, a dog, and a cat. What are we missing? Oh yes, a child. Wouldn't that be lovely, darling?
Yes, a child would be lovely if you had the time, patience, or ability to keep up with the rigors of parenthood. But you are older now. Last minute vacations, weekend jaunts, drunken parties till the wee hours, spending all your cash frivolously...that all comes to a screeching halt! You're thinking that you should be able to fit your child into your lives quite seamlessly. Think again, ass wad. This new little person is going to turn your lives upside down. Gone are the impromptu spa days with the girls. Kiss those bar hopping long weekends goodbye. Were you expecting to be able to keep up that lifestyle? Such a shame, dementia must be setting in, you ARE old.
When I see folks in their late forties with toddlers, I have to laugh out loud. They look haggard and worn. Wonder why? Could it be that children require energy that you no longer possess? Ah yes. They run, they scream, they flit from one thing to the next, they require you to childproof. You may have to put your bong on a higher shelf now. They do tend to put everything in their mouths. Very overwhelming to older folks who are so far removed from childhood that these things actually sound foreign.
The other danger of waiting too long to become a parent is that common sense seems to fly out the window. These children of aging parents are spoiled rotten for the most part. Could be due to the fact that the parents are so focused on work, they've decided to allow day care to raise their child and feel guilty about the lack of actual time spent with them. Had you started younger, you may have considered staying home to raise this little bundle of joy yourself, making sacrifices when they weren't quite so challenging and life-altering. Now, you probably need to work to support a lifetime of very expensive habits, a huge mortgage, and a lifestyle you aren't willing to give up. The spoiling could also stem from the fact that you are a lot more mellow and grandparent-like. Not that grandparents are a bad thing. They have their place in a child's life. But, in general, it is not to raise them.
The kids of these elderly parents are quite often so overindulged. You can spot this child from a mile away. He's the one in designer jeans, holding an iPad, and demanding an ice cream cone NOW!!!! His parents are the ones who will gently negotiate with him, attempting to come to some sort of adult compromise while making sure he doesn't get too agitated. Heaven forbid we say something damaging to his delicate self-esteem. You must be the parents who are advocating against the use of red pens on tests and using the standard grading system of A-F. Yeah, those things really fucked me up. Are you serious?
One other thing that does concern me about these older parents is one basic fact. You probably won't be around for a good portion of your child's life. There, I said it. The later you start, the more likely it becomes that you won't live to see your own grandchildren. In actuality, many of you won't see your child graduate college or get married. Does this bother you at all? It should. Did you think about that while you were putting off having children? Did you consider the lasting effects it would have? Probably not. You were busy being selfish.
I had my daughter when I was 24 years old. To many of you, that sounds so young. It was, and it was young enough for me to be up all night when she was sick, to have the ability to chase her around the park, to stay home and make sacrifices since we didn't have much at the time, anyway, and to have the common sense necessary to raise a child in today's world. Do I wish I had waited till I was older? Are you friggin kidding me right now?
Weird since many of them are on marriage number 3 by that age. Some of these older parents didn't have them so late by choice. But many, as in the normal WC household, did indeed wait. They wanted to live their lives first since children would be a burden. Now, they can have the nanny raise them, or drop them off to you guys to raise them at the Hole. You need to be careful referring to people as grandma and grandpa, when they are really mom and dad. Don't want to make that mistake ....
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