So Tired of the Double Standards!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has noticed this shit running rampant in today's society. The prevalence of double standards has become utterly ridiculous and I am sick to fucking death of it. Ranging from half naked women in TV commercials to slut shaming our daughters for wearing "provocative" clothing such as leggings to high school, how the hell do we live in a society that can't get its bitching straight? We aren't sure what offends us, but goddamn it we are offended at every turn. Over-sensitive yet hyper-sexualized, we go through our days alternately drooling and getting pissed off at what is basically the same thing!

Let's explore the things that are perfectly fine to do and seemingly offend no one. Flip on your television and start counting the number of commercials that are geared toward horny 15-65 year old men. Anyone want a Carl's Jr. burger? Barely dressed and eating the burger like they are fellating the damned thing, these women are supposedly the customers at your local Carl's Jr. and want you to drive on over and order some fries with that deep throat, I mean Six Dollar Burger. First of all, ask yourself this question, are these the women at your local fast food restaurant? Certainly not at mine. These women aren't likely to be eating anything off those menus unless they come with a barf bag for immediate calorie disposal. Secondly, who do you think takes their children to these places and spends their cash at these places? Swarthy, sexy single men in search of these steamy women and fried food? Um, no. Moms, imperfect and human moms are the ones bellying up to the counter and ordering food for their hungry, screaming brood. Do men eat here? Sure. But why are we only targeting them in these ads? One single man comes in and orders a burger, fries, and a shake. Solid order. A mom comes in with her three kids and their three friends and orders lunch for all. Which order is making the restaurant more money? How about we start targeting hungry people instead of horny ones when we are trying to sell food? Horny people aren't in search of an order of fries. Just a point to ponder. On the flip side of that same corporation, when they do use men in their commercials, they are not only fully dressed, they are eating like slobs.Why the stark difference? Is this to appeal to the moms who want to clean him up, tell him to take smaller bites, and chew with his mouth closed? Right, didn't think so.

What have we learned from one simple commercial? That objectifying women is perfectly acceptable to attain corporate gain. We can treat women like sex toys on TV and in print ads as long as it sells our products and gets us some serious brand recognition. Hm. Do women not shop or spend money? Are we still kept by men and flitting about at home, worrying about what to make for hubby's dinner, washing the kids' faces, and reapplying lipstick right before the big, strong man comes home from work? Stop laughing, you'll piss your pants and blame me. Since this is clearly not the case, why aren't we seeing half naked men in Speedos, dripping with oil, and seductively licking a food item in order to convince us to buy the product being hawked in the commercial? Because we aren't viewed as the primary consumer of most goods. Ever notice that household goods are marketed differently? Cutesy, sometimes funny, and appealing to the mommy set...very targeted, yet very sexist. Based on this men get horny, but women want to nurture children and clean things. Seriously? We still think this way in 2016?

Here's where America confuses the shit out of me, and likely you, too. If it is acceptable to objectify women for corporate gain, then why can't our daughters dress the way they goddamn please? Why is it that they are accused of being too sexy and driving the boys to behave poorly? There are a few problems in this situation we've created. I have a daughter and understand wanting to protect our little girls. We should create a world that is safe for them to express their unique style in any way they choose without worrying about being touched or spoken to inappropriately. So, tell me why schools have made rules banning yoga pants and forcing girls to wear bras. If their bits are properly covered, why are we up in arms about girls dressing for comfort? Are we raising our sons to look at girls as eye candy instead of people? Why are they unable to control their impulses and boners when a pretty girls walks by in yoga pants and a t-shirt? We need to teach them that girls are their equal and deserve respect. Look them in the eye instead of the tits, and treat them like you would another guy...or your mother. When we enforce rules regarding the way girls dress and use the excuse that they are riling up the boys, we are leaving the door open to blame these same girls for "asking for it" when they are sexually assaulted.

I have a wild idea for you, so hold on to your hats because it's going to blow you away. How about we start treating girls and women with the same respect we would expect others to if they were our mothers, wives, sisters, or daughters? While we are at it, let's give allowing them the same freedoms that our boys enjoy at school, like dressing how the fuck they want without fear of repercussions or harassment a try. Thinking that double standards and retro backwater thinking is what will make America great or save our country from going down the toilet, is the same as voting for Trump. Who here thinks I'll be doing that on Election Day?  Are you friggin kidding me right now???

Put the Cream Back in My Creamer! Carrageenan is NOT the Devil.

Shall we first discuss the basics of coffee drinking without bringing up our favorite Starbucks or Peet's drinks? Dunkin vs Starbs...not interested. What I'd like to go over with you is the main reason we put some form of dairy/non-dairy product into our morning joe. TO MAKE IT SMOOTHER AND CREAMIER! Right. Now that I have your attention, and likely your full agreement, let's move on to the varying types of items you can put into your coffee to elicit that effect. There's good old cow's milk at all fat levels, including a favorite of mine, half and half. You can use non-dairy creamers like Coffee Mate if you prefer, and they even come in flavors! I'll admit to dipping into the seasonal flavors around Christmas time. Then there are the non-dairy nut alternatives, like coconut creamer and almond creamer. I love almond milk and coconut milk so these creamers were a no-brainer for someone like me. I'm in! All of these options, when used in your steaming hot cuppa, make it deliciously smooth.

Having used coconut creamer after discovering it at my local Sprouts, I stopped using every form of cow's milk in an attempt to avoid extra hormones skating through my already estrogen crazed body. Much to my excitement, this stuff was the shit! My coffee tasted so amazing with it, I quickly booted cow's milk out of the rotation and bought coconut creamer exclusively. Even my daughter caught the bug and began buying it for herself. My mornings were lovely and I looked forward to each cup I drank before heading out to work, and sometimes I would even grab a to-go cup for one more dose. This joy went on for years and once in a while, I would dip back into a flavored Coffee Mate around the holidays. I didn't even drink cow's milk with cookies! Almond milk, thank you. Until IT happened.

What the fuck could have happened that would have stopped this joy ride? What took the coconut creamer out of my fridge and forced it to be replaced with half and half? Not a spoiled container because that shit lasted forever! Nothing worse than curdled coffee, and coconut creamer never did me like that. No, this was far more evil and caused me to lose my fucking marbles because I didn't want back on the hormone train of dairy in my damn coffee. One fine day, I purchased a new container of coconut creamer, from Sprouts, as I always did, and brought it home to use immediately since I had run out. Upon pouring it into my coffee, I noticed that the color in my cup seemed off. I took a big sniff of the creamer and it smelled lovely. Ok, fine. It's not bad. I dumped out the cup, which in my world is a cardinal sin, and poured a fresh one. Tipping the creamer container slowly over my cup and watching it carefully for some clue as to why it made my coffee look wrong. Seeing nothing unusual, I tasted it after stirring for a long time, trying to make it the color it was supposed to be. Oh for fuck's sake, it tasted wrong, too! Then I noticed it. There were little white dots floating around on the surface of my beloved drink. What the fresh fuck was going on??? Well, I dumped that cup out and drank the next one black...and pissed off.

The next day, I bought another pint, hoping it was just a bad batch. Tested it out, and the same goddamn thing happened. What is happening? What kind of dark magic is this? Not one to take a situation at face value, I start reading the container. OH. MY. GOD. New formula. Now carrageenan free! Are you out of your fucking mind? Are you a window licking fucktard? Carrageenan is what makes the damn creamer CREAMY. It's a fucking emulsifier...it belongs there. Who decided this would be a good thing? Who is the ass munch and how do I get a hold of him to punch him in the throat? Totally furious and ready to skin alive the crotch stain who changed the formula, I started researching carrageenan. Well, as you may already know, it is made from edible red seaweed. Hm. We eat seaweed every time we have sushi. No one has made seaweed-free sushi. Plugging on, I see that some research indicated that it may cause inflammation, ulcerative colitis, and cancer...in lab rats. Um, ok. So, this gift from the heavens was removed from my beverage because some person found that it did nasty things to rodents?

Not just a person, but a doctor from the University of Illinois. Joanne Tobacman, associate professor of clinical medicine, claims that carrageenan elicits an immune response that causes inflammation...in lab rats. Before even continuing to discuss how stupid it is to use an animal whose internal organs are unlike humans, and mentioning that any time something is introduced to a lab animal to test it for negative reactions, they use 600 times the amount you would ever consume in a lifetime...let's dive into the form of carageenan this bitch was testing. I'm going drop some science, so dumb asses get ready to use Google. Carrageenan comes in two forms, degraded and undegraded. No, people aren't sexually harassing the stuff, it's what happens when it is broken down. Degraded carrageenan was being tested on these poor lab animals at volumes never used in any food product. Undegraded carrageenan is also known as FOOD GRADE. Wonder why? Because the FDA has a rigorous testing process that determines what ingredients are fucking safe to eat!

My coconut creamer and other non dairy food products were having this lovely red seaweed ingredient ripped out because of invalid research. The undegraded form does eventually degrade but never in the amount that could be considered a threat to human health. Why? Oh right, because the fucking FDA made sure of it when they approved the fucking stuff. Why do we dick with things that work? Has the news been filled with reports of people keeling over from intestinal pain after too much goddamn carrageenan? Are oncologists warning against coconut creamer? Were people getting the shits? What brought this panic on? Some stupid research that flies in the face of what the people keeping us from eating and dying all these years have found safe for us to ingest! Further research showed that it was not a carcinogen at all but "just to be safe" they were removing it from many non dairy products. Why do we succumb to irrational panic? Are we sheeple? What form of chimp logic tells you that if research is rebuked sufficiently, you still need to run screaming? For those still not convinced that it is safe, riddle me this...why is it still in ice cream, chocolate milk, and low fat yogurt?

My coffee is now graced with half and half and ever shall be until we either stop acting like irrational ass clowns or someone finds a new all-natural, organic, vegan, cruelty-free emulsifier to make coconut and almond creamer more palatable again. We have enough to worry about without researchers causing widespread agiation over something that has very little basis in fact and doesn't directly relate to human health. Do I care about the health and safety of the food I serve in my house? Of course I do. Am I going to sacrifice flavor due to the scare tactics of extremists and paranoid researchers? Are you friggin kidding me right now???