She's From NY...Ohhhhh.

What the fuck does that mean exactly? Those of you from any other state have undoubtedly said this in conversation with your friends at least once. Don't bother trying to deny it. Attempting to explain away something you don't understand or fear is more than slightly offensive. Are you trying to justify your own skewed opinions about a particular type of person who you assume is that way due to their state of origin? I'll wager that most of you spouting off about New Yorkers have never even stepped foot on a Manhattan sidewalk, never even hopped on a bus in Queens, or driven through Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. Have you? I didn't think so. Yet you are certain you know us, inside and out. The way we speak, the way we dress, and the way we treat other people. Hell, I'm sure you think you could write a book.

Allow me to step right in and stop you from making a gigantic ass out of yourself in public one more time. You do realize how goddamn ridiculous you sound every time you drone on about what you believe to be facts...about people you've never met?! Even if you've had the privilege of meeting one of us, your opinion has already been set in stone, with no prior knowledge other than what you've watched on television or in the movies. Let me tell you something about Hollywood. Their perception of us is also a tad jacked up. This is not to say that they haven't a clue about our speech patterns or behaviors...some of the Hollywood bigwigs were actually born on the Right Coast. So, some do have a definite feel for us and the minutiae that makes us who we are. But, in general, they are trying to portray one side and one side only. The side that both intrigues and entertains you.

Are all NY Italians in the Mafia? God, no. But if you watch enough TV or film, you'd start to believe that it's a hardcore fact. Badabing, badaboom...whacking, being made, Consiglieres to right, Capos to the left. Men in the "waste management" business having basement meetings about who insulted "the family" and the proper course of action (who is whacking and how) and women tottering around on heels after them asking if they want baked ziti or stuffed shells tonight because they have to go buy more ri-gutt, while ignoring the fact that he was headed to his goumadas apartment, for which he pays the rent, for a nooner. Come on, seriously. I grew up a NY Italian and I don't recall anyone being in "waste management" in my family. We may have had ri-gutt (ricotta for those of you whiter than whites who don't understand bastardized dialects) in the fridge, but that didn't make us part of the *Family* that made the newspapers every so often.

While I am aware that our accents are different than yours, that doesn't make it bad or wrong. The way we pronounce most words can be considered more phonetically correct than some of the folks who hail from the Left Coast. That's right, it's an AH-range not OR-nge. Our accent is closer to British and therefore more proper than the rest of you boneheads. Clipped endings, absent "r" sounds...that's right, we are classy as fuck. Beyond that, I'd like to emphasize that just because our accent sounds a bit harsh, doesn't mean that we are an uneducated bunch of dumbasses. Some of the best doctors, lawyers, scientists...come from NY and boast the same accent as the rest of the residents. Now southern accents...those don't sound very bright, but that's a different topic altogether. My point is, our accent is just a minor part of who we are, just as your oddball way of speaking doesn't define you.

Moving on to a pet peeve of mine, our attitudes and manner of dealing with others. We are different, that's true. However, we are not inherently bad or mean. What we are is honest. Pulling no punches, not holding back unless absolutely necessary, never hiding behind a veil of insincerity...we are the most up-front and forthcoming people you will ever meet. Don't ask me if your outfit makes your ass look fat unless you really want to know. This honesty has been translated in some circles as mean and angry. Let me clarify, the truth isn't always pretty. If you can't handle it, don't ask. The next item I'd like to address regarding our demeanor is the fact that we are always angry or impatient. Blatantly untrue. We grew up in a city that moved quickly, time waited for no man, and we had to push to get a seat on the bus. Does this make us terrible people? No. It means we've learned to adapt to challenging situations that would flatten the rest of you on your asses and have you making an appointment with your doctor to increase your dosage of Xanax.

The way some of you portray us to friends, you'd think we were the meanest motherfucks on the planet. Don't tell me you've never lost your temper, screamed at someone, or said what was really on your mind with no filter present. You'd be lying through your teeth. The difference is when you do it, it's because you were pushed, backed up against a wall, or had enough of the bullshit. When I do it, it's simply because I'm from NY and that's just how we are...isn't that what you'd tell your husband over dinner? Yeah, makes perfect sense to try to prove that your opinion about people you don't know is correct by recounting one moment in time and using it to define us as a whole. Who's the asshole now? My daughter is still learning how to deal with people who think they can explain away one of her outbursts or unfiltered honesty by the aside, "She's from NY," and the other person acknowledging that disclaimer with a knowing, "Ohhhhh." It pisses her off...and instead of just realizing that they are ignorant and possibly jealous of her ability to handle things they cannot, she tends to prove their point. She's my kid...was there ever any doubt? Are you friggin kidding me right now???