Let's Talk Turkey

With Thanksgiving a memory, we are being thrust into the anus of the Christmas season with brute force. Why? Because this is a very short Christmas season and retailers want us to hurry the fuck up and shop. And shop most of you will. This is not to say I won't be shopping, we have many small children in our circle who only know the holiday to mean tearing open gifts on Christmas morning. Really, it IS for the children. The look on their faces when evidence that Santa has made his yearly visit is worth all the effort and tiptoeing around after midnight, taking bites out of cookies and pouring out milk that's been sitting out for hours. I have no issue with this portion of the holiday program whatsoever.

Here's what chafes my hide...people who race out after shoving vast amounts of turkey into their faceholes to go wait on ungodly long lines at big box stores to buy crap in the hopes that the recipient of the crap thinks they are a fucking hero. What they are, what they represent is all that is wrong with the world today. Commercialism has grabbed us by the nutsack and tightened its grip so firmly that we are powerless to its demands. Kids who have iPads want the new one this year; kids who have cell phones want them upgraded; wives who have Tiffany jewelry want more! Seriously, this is out of control and nobody can see it. Gimme, gimme, gimme...hands outstretched, pouty faces, and the demands don't stop. Why do we kowtow to this materialistic shit every year?

I'll tell you what the problem is...we teach our kids that things matter. Things, stuff, acquisitions, possessions. Emphasis being placed on the gift and not the giver. I want, I need, give me. Fuck you. No, really, fuck you. Is that the world you are trying to create for our children and theirs in the future? Christ on a crutch, your priorities are beyond fucked. The thing is, you teach your children by example. Your constant shopping; buying; coveting the belongings of your friends; the race to catch up and go ahead with the bigger, better, faster version...sickening! To what end? In case no one ever told you, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU! That's not just the name of a play, it's a cold hard fact. The dead have no possessions. Your family rifles through the piles and boxes of crap, takes what they believe they deserve and the rest goes in the trash...unless your family is nice enough to donate it to charity. In which case, some other family gets your crap. Not how you pictured it, is it?

Allow me to assist you, to help you help yourself. Stop being such a materialistic douche bag! Remember what really matters...people, people matter. Create memories with your family, go out and do things, stay home and talk to each other, play with your kids. I'll let you in on a little secret, they won't remember anything you bought them. Sure, they'll remember their favorite doll or their first bike, but the mass quantity of shit you've wrapped and shoved under the gigantic trees each year will be but a blip in their memories. What they will recall fondly, look back upon with love...the time you spent with them. That's it, that's all...time. The fact that you stopped racing around doing shit for you and took a moment or two to really listen, to really hear what they had to say. The day you spent laughing so hard, your coffee shot out your nose holes...that's the day they will recount to their children, not the 80 foot pile of shit under the tree. Think about it. My memories of my mom, my daughter's memories of me will be of the TIME spent, not the cash. Are you friggin kidding me right now???