Always well-groomed because, well, you never know when an unsuspecting sucker with a ton of cash is going to happen along during the course of her day, this hoebag gets her hair and nails done more frequently than all her friends combined. It's crucial to be as attractive as possible at all times...just in case. Of course, I'm not saying you ladies shouldn't look nice and practice good grooming once you are firmly in a relationship. Quite the opposite. Never let yourself go to hell once you feel settled, it's like telling your mate they aren't worth the effort anymore. But, I'm also telling you that the gold digger will go to great lengths to keep herself marketable, not just attractive to her mate. Note the difference. If you are on the prowl, you need something to snare your prey...and it sure isn't your lovely personality or what you have to bring to the table.
Why did I mention what the money-grubbing skank has to bring to the table you ask? Well, perhaps it's because she has absolutely nothing to bring to the table. Years of faking it with countless different men, molding herself to suit the man du jour, creating new personas, adopting new "interests" and "likes" to seem appealing to today's man meat, this chick wouldn't know real if it smacked her in the heavily shellacked face. What could she possibly bring to the table? She's merely a conglomerate of all the men she's been with before you...a mixture of all of their hobbies and favorite foods. Until she meets you, then she becomes the female version of you. Which, at first, can be a draw for some men. Who wouldn't want a woman who will bait her own hook and drink moonshine with them? That's only if YOU do, too.
Sometimes the relationships overlap while she decides which checkbook fits into her current life plan. In reality, and heed my warning, she may still have the taste of his schvantz in her mouth when she kisses you! Everyone knows you don't leave a job until you have a new one, and the same applies here for this broad. You never want to go without...money, a roof over your head, regular mustache rides, fun trips, and randomly presented baubles. So, she plans ahead before making her grand exit. Scoping out the next Sugar Daddy all the while telling you how much she loooooooves you and how you are the best thing that has ever happened to her. Let me fill in those blanks for you. She loooooooves your money and all it buys for her. You are the best thing that has ever happened to her SO FAR. Just took the shiny right off her ass, didn't I? Pointing out flaws in others, only part of my charm.
Have you ever noticed how this skeezer's taste's begin to change with each new bank account...I mean boyfriend/husband? Dependent upon the size of his assets, she will change her needs and desires accordingly. The woman who once shopped at JCPenney is suddenly frequenting such places as Nordstrom and Betsey Johnson. No longer satisfied with a burger on a Saturday night, this one exchanges fellatio for filet mignon. Vacationing in Palm Springs for a week in the beginning of summer or a weekend in the wine country? Not anymore. She wants to holiday in style, and you had better be ready to fork over that Gold Card and sign your name on the line, my friend. No less will be tolerated. What I'd like to point out here is that no blow job on Earth is worth the amount she will suck out of your savings. And I don't even have a penis!
This has been a cautionary tale for all the men out there, who may be going through a midlife crisis, wanting to scratch that itch, contemplating a relationship with this bitch. Don't bother. If you want to pay for sex, hire an escort, spend way less money, and avoid having to wake up with the smell of someone else's trouser snake on her breath. I'm only looking out for your best interests. Men fall fast and they fall hard. Led by their little "head" and making snap decisions regarding a mate, they simply don't see her coming. Her methods are time-worn and long-perfected. Your weakness is her open door. Those of you in lackluster marriages beware. You are her favorite target. Offering a sympathetic shoulder to lean on, a seemingly unending amount of patience for listening to your marital woes, and lower and lower necklines on her blouses every time you see her. Another woman could spot her from a mile away while reading a magazine. Poor, poor stupid men. Any show of concern and interest from a member of the opposite sex and they are putty in her hands.
What have we learned today? Open your fucking eyes, ass clown! Disguised as genuine interest in you and all things about you, lurks the cold, cold heart of the gold digger. This broad likes to ride the gravy train with her legs wide open. If you are lucky enough to have disposable income and don't mind losing wads of it for a little horizontal mambo, have at it. The rest of you poor schmucks, run far and run fast. Nothing is worth your dignity. Are you friggin kidding me right now???
Have you ever noticed how this skeezer's taste's begin to change with each new bank account...I mean boyfriend/husband? Dependent upon the size of his assets, she will change her needs and desires accordingly. The woman who once shopped at JCPenney is suddenly frequenting such places as Nordstrom and Betsey Johnson. No longer satisfied with a burger on a Saturday night, this one exchanges fellatio for filet mignon. Vacationing in Palm Springs for a week in the beginning of summer or a weekend in the wine country? Not anymore. She wants to holiday in style, and you had better be ready to fork over that Gold Card and sign your name on the line, my friend. No less will be tolerated. What I'd like to point out here is that no blow job on Earth is worth the amount she will suck out of your savings. And I don't even have a penis!
This has been a cautionary tale for all the men out there, who may be going through a midlife crisis, wanting to scratch that itch, contemplating a relationship with this bitch. Don't bother. If you want to pay for sex, hire an escort, spend way less money, and avoid having to wake up with the smell of someone else's trouser snake on her breath. I'm only looking out for your best interests. Men fall fast and they fall hard. Led by their little "head" and making snap decisions regarding a mate, they simply don't see her coming. Her methods are time-worn and long-perfected. Your weakness is her open door. Those of you in lackluster marriages beware. You are her favorite target. Offering a sympathetic shoulder to lean on, a seemingly unending amount of patience for listening to your marital woes, and lower and lower necklines on her blouses every time you see her. Another woman could spot her from a mile away while reading a magazine. Poor, poor stupid men. Any show of concern and interest from a member of the opposite sex and they are putty in her hands.
What have we learned today? Open your fucking eyes, ass clown! Disguised as genuine interest in you and all things about you, lurks the cold, cold heart of the gold digger. This broad likes to ride the gravy train with her legs wide open. If you are lucky enough to have disposable income and don't mind losing wads of it for a little horizontal mambo, have at it. The rest of you poor schmucks, run far and run fast. Nothing is worth your dignity. Are you friggin kidding me right now???
U crack me up Chris. love u.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
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