All the single ladies...and men, quit whining about the lack of fish in the sea!

The world we live in is vastly different than the one in which I grew up, I am painfully aware.  People have changed, and not for the better. Relationships have become disposable; we've become dependent upon technology and often, haven't even seen them in person before our first date; some are so self-focused they don't know how to make time or expend effort on someone else; and since chivalry is all but dead and women are so interested in being equals they've forgotten how to allow a man to hold the friggin door open...courtship has flown out the window.  No, this isn't the dating I remember at all.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying we should rewind back to the 40s or 50s.  Women have made great strides since then and I'd hate to lose ground now. However, have we lost our fucking minds? It is not insulting when a man pulls out your chair for you.  Do you recognize politeness when you see it? Or are you too busy climbing the corporate ladder in your bitch suit to notice a man showing you some respect? Then you complain that men are selfish and boorish. Really?  Have you taken a look in the mirror?  The only thing you don't do in a manly fashion is scratch your nuts.
I am the first one to say "anything you can do, I can do better" to a man. With the exception of peeing standing up, we have tremendous capability of being fairly equal. Let's not forget a few basic facts, as well.  Women are capable of multi-tasking almost always successfully, men are not. Women have a much higher pain threshold than men. One of the many reasons men aren't built to give birth. We eat healthier, have higher IQs, are more hygienic, sport stronger immune systems because we have a secret weapon...estrogen, we live longer, and handle stress better even though you think we don't after witnessing a little PMS.  Those facts being stated, it is clear that we are at the very least equal to men, even if we still don't always make the same pay for the same work.  But that is another topic, and right now I am focused on this one.
Men, let me know if I am off-base here, but I think you are more afraid to approach a woman now than you were years ago.  You've been getting mixed signals and doors slammed on you and you have no idea why. While I understand the confusion, it doesn't make up for your dating flaws. Call when you say you will, text after a date to let her know you had a good time...don't make her wait.  These days, she will move on.  Pick up the goddamn tab at dinner, going Dutch does not impress a chick, trust me.  We may be ABLE to pay our own way, but if you asked us out, it is implied that you will be paying the bill. After you've been dating a while, the rules change and it is acceptable to split costs. Especially if you are getting serious, inevitably you will be splitting all your shit down the middle, anyway, why not start now?
Here is where you both go horribly wrong. Both men and women are guilty of this, so I won't specify anymore. There's a new belief system in effect, and it's called the, "They aren't good enough for me" philosophy. Single folks these days seem to find fault with everyone they meet. It's no joke, the standards are so high, who the hell actually can meet or exceed them?  People are rejected on the most ridiculous criteria.  A potential partner can be too short, too tall, too thin, too fat, too much hair, not enough.  And it get dumber.  Some partners have been tossed aside for having freckles or curly hair. Seriously? What the fuck makes you a supermodel? Imperfections define beauty, not detract from it. What makes us different is attractive, not our similarities. A scar, a mole, an oddly shaped birthmark catch the eye. They shouldn't make us wince.
Look in the mirror and look hard. Unless you just came back from a cover shoot for Vogue or GQ, chances are pretty good that you aren't perfect. I'll even venture a guess that you aren't even incredibly handsome or pretty.  You are probably average like the rest of the world. Get over yourself, butt wad.
Of course, others may not be quite as superficial and use different measures to gauge compatibility with a possible partner. These are no more fair than the looks-based ones, nor are the ones using these tests even up to par with their own standard. They want someone from a certain financial background, a certain geographical location, a particular college, a very specific career pool. Because a mechanic or construction worker can't make you laugh and hold you when you cry? Waitresses don't know how to dance or care for you when you are sick? Do you really think that if someone is a wealthy, pedigreed snot-rocket, it makes them a better husband or wife?  What it makes them is a spoiled fucking brat who is accustomed to the finer things in life and not having to wipe their own asses.  Are you willing to sell blood and semen to give them the life they expect?  Will you wipe their buttholes FOR them? Didn't think so.

Terminology like "diamond in the rough" is offensive to me. It means you are judging someone unfairly based on your perception of their situation, background, job, or even haircut. Until you get to know someone, really get to know them, hold off on your ignorant discrimination. There's a reason you are still single well into your forties, you know. The fact is, you are the asshole. Your unreasonably high standards, your judgmental attitude, your inflated opinion of yourself, and the mere issue of being unwilling to give a little instead of taking with both hands are many, yet not all of the obstacles preventing you from finding that special someone. Seriously consider pulling your fat head out of your ass and taking a good look at yourself. Unless you have just as much to offer as you are expecting to get in return, lower the fucking bar. Prince Charming, you're not. Are you friggin kidding me right now???