The good old days, continued

Remember phones?  Not your Galaxy or iPhone, but a real phone that you likely got from the phone company and came in unattractive colors like nude or olive green or yellow? Those of us over 40 can recall using a rotary phone and the sound it made spinning back after each dialed number. We can also tell you which phone in the house had the longest cord...for taking a private call.  Mine was the longest.  My white slimline rotary phone, covered in stickers, had the longest cord in the house. Not that I had my own phone number or that I had constant and consistent access to it.  Far from it.  The moment I stepped out of line with my mom, she marched into my room, yanked the cord out of the wall, wrapped it around the phone, and stuck it in her closet. Access denied. Yes, I had the phone taken away quite a bit during the teen years. And I was actually a GOOD kid. Imagine if my mom had to deal with a teenager like the ones being produced and tolerated today?!  They'd likely have her hand print on both cheeks and loads of practice dodging a flying slipper.

Yet, given the fact that dialing a rotary phone took extra time, they were heavy as hell, and took up way too much space for such an ugly item that needed to be out in full view, I miss them.  I miss the whole concept of using a phone to talk to someone, not punch in abbreviated words and emoticons that can be misconstrued or ignored. You spent time dialing out seven to ten digits, you waited for a person to answer, and sometimes had to ask to speak to the person you were calling because the phone was a family item, not something tucked into an ass pocket of your jeans. Phones had heft and felt important in your hand or tucked between your ear and corresponding shoulder. I actually have a hard time using my cell phone for actual phone calls outside of the bluetooth feature. Cellular phones are too small to press to your ear appropriately and often slip and result in a whole lot of "what" and "I didn't catch that, what did you say" instead of a smoothly flowing conversation. God forbid you want to do the shoulder tuck and free your hands up to multi-task.  Be prepared to drop that phone over and over till you get disgusted and either end the call or stop getting anything productive done. Yeah, that's a fucking laugh riot.

You know what else I miss? Public pay phones, the old school kind. Not only do I miss that type of pay phone, the kind that took a quarter, you made your call, and if it went over the time limit you could pop a nickel in and keep talking...but I miss having loads of them available to me. Before cell phones, you could still be out and about and make a call if you needed. Pay phones were on every corner back in Queens. If you were out and wanted to meet up with a friend, you could walk to the nearest pay phone and give them a ring.   Those were also the days when we were actually out and about.  We walked to the mall or the movie theater. We took a bus or subway when we wanted to go further than our own neighborhood. And we called our friends on the pay phone so they could come and do all this with us.  We didn't drive to the ice cream store that was three blocks away and text our friends a photo of the cone instead of inviting them to come along. Antisocial fucking zombies, that's what we are now.

There were other kinds of phones that existed when I was a child.  Driving along a highway, you could find emergency call boxes staggered by the sides of the road. Those were the days, my friends. If you had a flat tire or worse, you walked to one of those handy-dandy call boxes, lifted the receiver, spoke to the person on the other end, and asked for help. Then you had to wait...and wait. Why did we do this? Because cell phones hadn't been invented yet, and we were dependent on the kindness of strangers for assistance.  We couldn't just pick up our iPhone and text our mom, brother, or BFF and ask them to come get us. Nope, you stayed by your car and waited for the police, tow truck, ambulance, or all three to show up. Horrifying, huh? Calling AAA from your cell wasn't an option.
Yes, back in the day, we talked to people.  We talked to friends, family, and strangers. We picked up heavy assed phones and dialed numbers, which did require us to remember phone numbers because we couldn't program them into a monstrous rotary phone. For those who had bad memories, there were address books. Some of them were so cute, and you just couldn't wait to get home and transfer all your friends' phone numbers and addresses into the new book.  Rainbows, hearts, stars, clowns, whatever your thing, there was an adorable address book for you. Some of us used colorful pens, while others who were more cautious used pencils. But all of us enjoyed using them.  Who the fuck has them anymore?  Aside from me? We meet someone and we just program their info into our cell phones.  Now we don't even need to know their phone number or really use it ever again. We hit contacts, find their name, and tap it. End. Of. Story. No wonder there is a widespread lack of intelligence, I've found another contributing factor. No need to memorize a phone number anymore, and certainly not many of them. We aren't using our brains...and some just don't have them anyway.
Where has the time gone, and why can't some things just stay the same? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Isn't that the saying?  Why doesn't anyone follow it? Everyone wants the newest, latest, and greatest.  We lack appreciation for what we already have as we are constantly looking towards the next upgrade. How many of you utilized all your iPhone 4S had to offer, all the bells, whistles, and settings before you ordered your new iPhone 5? I just got iOS 6.0 and I am still learning how to use all of the fun shit. I have no interest in the new iPhone, I love the one I have...we are still getting to know each other. Everything is a toy, a gadget, a thing.  It holds no value. No one keeps anything for very long. Much like friends and relationships, all disposable, all just a placeholder while we look for the next best thing. Let me tell you this, I am not a thing. I'm a motherfucking person, and I will not be treated like yesterday's newspaper. Are you friggin kidding me right now???