Catch phrases belong on TV sitcoms, not spewing from your piehole

No one loves The Big Bang Theory more than I do, and when Sheldon says, "Bazinga," I laugh like an idiot every single time. Catch phrases have long been the stuff of which sitcoms are made, the line that always brings applause, and an integral part of that character. They are funny in and out of context. When you hear it, you know exactly which character said it, how it sounded, and how it made you pee your pants. Mind you, I'm not implying that YOU start adopting the catch phrase of your favorite TV character and start bandying it about like a goddamn fool. You don't get paid to say, "Bazinga," Jim Parsons does, and with good reason.  He is funny as fuck and an actual actor on a real TV show. Trust me when I tell you that it just doesn't sound the same when you say it. As a matter of fact, I'm going out on a limb here and including others, we would all like to rip your head off and shit down your neck when we hear you incessantly utter someone else's lines.

Let's go one step further. When you say something quite often, it does become a sort of catch phrase that you can call your very own. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sarcastic, and yes, it's all yours. So, like Sheldon, you can say that you have your very own catch phrase. The difference still remains, you aren't getting paid to say it, so when you decide that you need to incorporate it into every sentence, you risk death and/or dismemberment each time you utter it in my presence. I've noticed that the folks who tend to abuse the shit out of a word or saying have been told once or twice that it's funny. Seems to be all the fuel they need to light that fire under their asses which forces them to say it, write it, tweet it, post it several hundred times per day. Just because a close friend tells you that you said something that made them laugh, doesn't give you carte blanche to shove it down my throat. That person clearly has a very low IQ and zero sense of humor.

At this point, I am confident that you are pointing and laughing at me because I do, indeed, have a catch phrase, and I use it in ALL my writing. You are probably nudging the person next to you, telling them what a hypocrite I am for even suggesting that regular Joes shouldn't use one. This is where you and I differ, and you come out the loser. This is a blog, it's a writer's forum for expression, and therefore, I can use and abuse the shit out of it. Not only that, but it IS the title of the fucking blog. Can you say the same? Didn't think so. You are just a less than average human, plodding along on this planet, believing that you have reinvented the wheel by saying something so frequently that you are now "known" for it within your circle of friends. Being known for saying something totally fucktarded that makes your asshat friends laugh isn't the same thing as being famous. Get over yourself.

All too often I see certain people online, posting their inane "sayings" every day, in each and every post. It's neither cute nor funny. It almost makes you look like you lack basic vocabulary skills to form new and different sentences without using your "word" each time. While this could come close to making me sad and pity you, the fact that I don't give a fetid shit about you prevents me from mustering up those feelings. The best I can offer is disgust, disdain, and a bit of irritation. When your friends crack up every time you call something a bitchass, it means they are mental midgets, not that you are a fucking comedian. It also doesn't mean that you now have to say it every time we meet, or find a way to utilize it in all your posts and tweets. Sometimes, and I'm not saying this to be a douchebag, but sometimes it just doesn't suit the occasion or fit the situation about which you are speaking. Sometimes, it makes you look illiterate. Actually, almost all the time. I was being nice, and since that is out of character for me, I don't want to confuse you. You seem dumb enough already.

This post will now spin on its axis and flip over to the other side and become a PSA. When you have a friend or acquaintance that says something funny, laugh at them for an appropriate amount of time and end it. Do not, I repeat, do NOT tell them that it was the funniest thing you have ever heard, and that one word in particular stands out and you wish you had thought of it. Never tell them that they should use that word or phrase all the time. Filling their heads with compliments and making them feel like comedic geniuses and great literary minds, does the world no favors. What it will do, is subject the rest of us to a never-ending barrage of that saying, to the point where there is no escape except for gouging out your own ears until deaf or dead. Please, spare me the flood of stupidity on my timeline and Twitter feed. There are enough dim bulbs on this planet and we don't need to recruit any more. Are you friggin kidding me right now??? (Yeah, I said it, kiss my big, ghetto ass)