I like that phrase better than the whole "Keep Calm and..." bullshit that seems to be all over every t-shirt, coffee mug, and iPhone case these days. Keeping calm is a choice, and not always the best one. That rush of adrenaline is what fuels our fight or flight response, helps us mobilize in emergency situations, and defend ourselves and those we love. People who don't have the ability or desire to access that surge are as useless as tits on a bull. Sitting on an issue with a mindless grin on your face isn't going to solve it. Telling me or someone like me to calm down in a situation that requires testicular fortitude is asking for a kick in the throat. If you have no intention of being helpful, shut the fuck up and get out of my way.
Being faced with someone who is a raging nag or needling douche bag does NOT inspire a feeling of zen in me. Asking me to keep calm after you've pushed every fucking button I have is like stabbing me and asking me not to bleed. The fact is, if you know my buttons and you choose to push them anyway, you are begging me to behave in a rash manner. Whether it be junk punching you or verbally cutting your balls off, you've clearly requested it. My perception of you is someone who pulls the chair out behind someone to make them fall, and then laughs like a moron. What if I did that to your mother? Still funny? Why not? I'm someone's mother, you'd not think twice about doing it to me.
Emotions are individual just like people, and asking someone to squelch them is ridiculous. Getting pissed off is as natural as breathing. Although, after watching a movie made in 1956, I'm starting to think it's a recent discovery. Those people knew how to keep calm. Almost catatonic in their sea of calm and well-versed at keeping those around them equally as dead from the neck up. To quote from The Bad Seed, Christine tells darling little psychotic Rhoda twice, "Sometimes these things happen to us. And when they do, well, we just accept them." If that isn't absolutely in-fucking-sane, I don't know what is. Accepting disappointment is one thing, but putting it out of your mind instead of figuring out a way to not be disappointed next time, or learning from it and trying harder in the future sounds like a load of steaming bullshit to me. Accept your fate, whatever it is, and move on. Right. Great leaders are made that way...like hell.
Equally as annoying, are the people that let every goddamn thing piss them off. You know who you are, don't pretend to be someone else now. Why does she believe in pro-choice/gay marriage/God/Fox News? How could you possibly like watching horror movies/soap operas/reality shows/sports? You drive too slow, too fast, eating a bagel. He eats pizza/sprouts/cheese/candy/organic rice/McDonald's. How the fuck do these things affect your quality of life? I need it explained to me, slowly, so I'll understand fully since I don't speak fucktard. This makes no sense to me whatsoever. How does what I do, believe, say, or eat change your level of happiness or disdain? Am I that powerful? Tell me! Because if I am, I need to know so I can channel these powers for my own benefit and leave you be.
People like that are allowing far too many live rent-free in their heads. What they don't seem to realize, is that when you let every little thing bug you, you are handing over your freedom of choice, your personal power to someone else. You've now given them permission to dictate your moods and emotions. All fucking day long. Just how stupid are you? Is that individual so important, so integral to your being that they SHOULD have that kind of control over you? Nobody has that right. You are in charge of your emotions. You decide how to react to any given situation. And since it is your job to decide, don't choose to allow the actions of others to color your mood. Don't blame someone else for your sour face or miserable attitude, because, honey, that's ALL you. Remember, freedom of choice...it exists, use it.
Don't even get me started on the ones who let life's little speed bumps get them down for days on end. If you forgot to pick up bread while you were out, so what? Go back out. Your washing machine is making funny sounds, maybe you need a new one...not a Xanax. Oh my fucking God, did the movie rental place rent out the last copy of the movie you wanted? Holy shit! So what? Rent a different one or watch it another day. Did your coffee go cold? Pop that bitch in the microwave and shut your pie hole. Are you getting it? Most of what you complain about is utter nonsense. When you do it publicly, even if we don't do it out loud, we are laughing at you. Inwardly shaking our heads at just how incredibly dumbassed you are.
Here's what I see. There are an ass load of people going through life with blinders on, allowing people to shit all over them, and not really feeling anything but catatonia. They are so busy trying to shush everyone else, they don't see the car barreling down the street about to hit them. Lacking in real feeling and balls, these are folks I wouldn't want with me in a real emergency situation. Light a fire under your asses, people! On the other hand, there is an equally large ass load of people who stomp through life pissed off at everything and everyone. Miserable fucks who seem to glean great joy out of being mad and telling anyone who will listen why that is. Spare us all the shared angst. Not only are you pissed about a whole lot of nothing, it's your fault that you are choosing to feel that way. We don't necessarily share your opinion, nor do we care that you've decided to allow the events of each and every day shove you down into an inescapable funk which requires you to announce every infraction that put you there. Are you friggin kidding me right now???
No comments:
Post a Comment