Do you really think we believe you? Lying to fit in is UN-Freaking-COOL.

Can someone really relate to everything you are saying?  Is it possible that they, too, have had the exact experience you had? I'm going to say FUCK NO.  As humans, we all have similar journeys through life, but not the same.  Our differences are what make being on this planet interesting. The whole opposites attract phenomenon holds true, to a degree, not that commonalities aren't a good thing, too. We'd likely have nothing to talk about if we didn't share some similarities. However, and this is huge, you've not lived my life so you can't possibly have done what I've done, seen what I've seen, or felt what I've felt. I know you'd like to think so, my life is so fascinating, how could you not? But it's not just MY life you believe you parallel, but everyone around you. Desperate to be part of the "in" crowd, you interject your supposed identical experience.  Aren't you a little old to be trying so fucking hard?

It really is normal to seek out common ground when building friendships, so I don't begrudge someone that process one bit. Usually it is borne out of asking questions about the other person.  Not to Ms. Awkward.  She is an active listener to any and all conversations in a three block radius, waiting to pounce.  Have a headache?  She is, at present, suffering from a week-long migraine complete with nausea and light sensitivity. Like peaches?  She has acres of peach trees and makes pies every other Sunday, would you like one? Wine is your thing? Her family stomps on grapes at their vineyard, and they invented wine, too. Is there anything she doesn't have in common with you? Oh hell no. There's nothing she can't commiserate with you about and will given ample space to do so.  By ample space, I mean the point where you take a breath while speaking to someone else.
Maybe she wasn't popular in high school.  Maybe she was a loner.  Perhaps she was just shy.  Or, and here is my theory, she was just as big of a pain in the ass back then and no one wanted to deal with her.  Except in high school, people ignored her or made fun of her openly.  Teenagers are cruel and don't have control over their filter.  Not that my edit button works now, either, but that isn't the point. So likely, this was the girl everyone laughed at and didn't invite to parties.  Yet, some synapse that continues to misfire causes her to have either blocked that whole nightmare out, or not quite understand that what she was doing was uncool. And thus, she continues on, attempting to join in every conversation she encounters, overhears, eavesdrops on, and embarrasses herself and those unfortunate enough to have to listen.

Don't say that kind of behavior isn't embarrassing. Because it truly is. I find that I actually feel embarrassed FOR that person as they make up yet another bullshit story to make you like them.  You know that what they are saying isn't true.  Everyone standing there knows.  And some small part of you is blushing on the inside with such fierce humiliation because you know, that not only is everyone mentally calling bullshit, but they are silently mocking her. Most of us know what it feels like to be teased or bullied, even if only to a small degree.  At that moment, her buffoonery is making you cringe, not only because it's annoying, but because it makes you recall a time when you felt like a total fool and were made painfully aware that the masses were all watching and laughing at you. This is her life, and yet she is unaware of the mockery.
Trying to fit in and find your place in the world is human nature. Wanting satisfying friendships and people you can count on is completely normal.  People want to be loved, to be wanted and appreciated.  But Jesus H. Christ, you don't go about it by lying through your teeth. I have to tell you something, we all know you are full of shit. Maybe among the uneducated you are considered a genius and all-knowing.  The rest of us, having some form of education beyond the third grade, recognize a bald-faced lie when we hear one. You may not be the coolest chick on the block, but I'm sure I speak for most of mankind when I tell you to be yourself, keep the bullshit to a zero, and stop trying so goddamn hard. We will either like you or we won't, but I assure you that we definitely will mock you when you walk away if you are making up tall tales to fit in.  We will judge you for YOU instead of your long line of crap. My feeling on friendships is this, you either like me or you don't.  Either way, I will love myself far more than you ever could on a good day.  Are you friggin kidding me right now???