How dare you trash my 'hood?!?!

The other night while watching the X Factor, a guilty pleasure, I was enjoying hearing about the contestants' lives before the competition. Until these two jamokes from Queens came on the screen trashing the shit out of it, calling it a sea of drugs and gangs.  Where the fuck in Queens are they from exactly?!?! Don't get me wrong, my old stomping grounds have changed since I've lived there, I know.  The old vibe is gone replaced by an even more urban one. That's the beauty of NY. Its ability to mold into something different using new ingredients, incorporating the old, and creating something even more beautiful. They don't call NY a melting pot for nothing. This is all part of what I love about my hometown. The diversity and continuing changes to its landscape of people and neighborhoods. I miss some of the old mom and pop stores, but I still think it is the best place on Earth.
For this reason, I was so grotesquely offended by their inaccurate description of Queens. Again, I must ask, what the fuck in Queens are you badmouthing? Are you blaming New York for your misfortune until you stepped in shit and wound up on the X Factor, and by the grace of God, were thrown in with Lyric Da Queen and became one of the groups? What I find hysterical, and I believe you will, is that they are most recently from BAY SHORE.  Those of us from NY will be able to tell you, that isn't Queens at all.  It's Suffolk County.  That's right, our ghetto boys are from Long Island.  Attended Brentwood High School in Brentwood, right between Central Islip and Islip.  Hmmm.
But wait, the plot thickens, they are from both Long Island AND Queens. I see they spent some time in my borough when they were younger. In Jamaica, Queens on 145th street, hence the name of their group. But then, they moved out to the South Shore of the island and are now talking smack about Queens.  The move was a direct result of their house being robbed.  Most of us from Queens will tell you, you don't pick up and move all the way to Suffolk County just because your house was burglarized. I had a psychotic break into my apartment while I was sleeping as a child. Didn't move out of that apartment till I got married. Our apartment was robbed and trashed while I was out for a walk with my then infant daughter, and we didn't haul ass to Long Island the next day.  For many reasons, one is that I don't put it up on the same pedestal that many Queens residents did back in the days of my youth. It's the suburbs, and frankly, I am not a fan of suburbia. Give me dirty sidewalks, buses, and subways any day of the week.

And so, we have a couple of black siblings who originally hail from Jamaica, NY and moved out to the south shore of Long Island, who have decided to make Queens out to be a living hell filled with dangerous gang members strung out on and dealing drugs. Oh ok, now that we've cleared that up. We've been back to Queens many times since moving out here.  As a matter of fact, we were there last Christmas. I can assure you, I'd let my seventeen year old daughter walk the streets of my old 'hood and take public transportation by herself.  This is not only because she has an uncanny sense of direction and becomes just as much of a Noo Yawkuh as her mommy when she steps off the plane, but because I just don't see the same evils they are attempting to pass off as truth.
I'm sure it is to give them some semblance of street cred, their other group member hails from Flint, MI, which has a crime rating of 1 out of 100, which means is it is safer than only 1% of the cities in the US. I guess they felt they had to compete for who was the most ghetto trash. After looking at Google Maps satellite view of that street, because hell, I've not puttered through that neighborhood in a while, what I see is startling!  It looks like any other Queens neighborhood! Imagine that. Now, I'm sure there is crime, like any other city. Although, it has a crime index of 48, which as you now know, means it is safer than 48% of the cities in the United States.  Sorry, boys, you didn't quite measure up in your badassery. Bummer, dudes.
The fact that this bit of bullshit was spewed on national TV pissed me off more so than had it just been said to me privately.  However, and this is a big however, when someone tries to cap on my old neighborhood, especially when they have never been there, they have no clue, and they are basing their opinion on gossip and fucktarded TV shows that are skewing the perspective to attract viewers, I become enraged. I would never presume to criticize something I knew nothing about, and neither should you. You didn't grow up with me, you didn't go to school with me, and you certainly didn't walk to Queens Boulevard with me to go to the mall or the Elmwood movie theater.  I know you didn't hop on the subway with me to wander around the Village or to visit Harlem to see all the churches, that's right CHURCHES on almost every corner. Bet you had no fucking idea!
What gets to me, is that you make fun or criticize a place I still love today. I wouldn't be who I am today had I grown up anywhere else. My ability to laugh in the face of adversity instead of allowing it to break me, my fearless approach to every new town or city I visit, my sense of humor, the confidence I possess, and the fact that I can always call myself a New Yorker, are all due to being born and raised in Queens. I'm going to have to assume you mock because you are jealous. It's the only thing that makes sense and the only reason I can come up with to poke fun of the greatest place on the face of this planet. I know you wish you could say you are a Native New Yorker, most people feel the same way. Much like most people wish they were Italian, but I digress. I am proud of who I am and where I am from, and if you don't like it, especially if it's based on ignorance, go fuck yourself. I want no part of you. Are you friggin kidding me right now???