Christmas is my favorite holiday, but Thanksgiving and all things Autumn run a very close second. The colors, the smells, the food options, the beginning of fireplace season, all put a permanent smile on my face and a special beat in my heart. Oh, that's the murmur, but you know what I mean. The scents of pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, and a roaring fire are among my all-time favorites. Coupled with the warm, cozy, family-oriented feeling you get during the holiday season, I'm a very happy camper this time of year. But, everything should have its proper and natural progression. Starting with Halloween and moving forward through Thanksgiving, and into Christmas. No fucking overlap. I know I am not alone in the frustration I feel about overlapping holidays.
Why is it that when you go to Costco in the beginning of October, you can find in aisles right next to each other, Halloween costumes and Christmas decorations? Since when is Christmas in October? Why would you want to look at Santa and his elves while picking out a blood splattered zombie costume? I just don't get it. While I realize that stores are trying to capitalize on the holidays by extending each of them and blending them all into one giant phenom, it doesn't make it any less wrong. Money is the driving force behind this and we've lost sight of the meaning of the season. Not that Halloween has deep meaning, but it does get lumped into the seasonal rush. Kids today are getting the wrong idea about holidays and get caught up in the mad rush becoming almost manic for three solid months.
This weekend I was in a department store and was horrified when I noticed that they were playing Christmas music! Christmas music has no place in my life until the day after Thanksgiving. With the exception of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, because that is what officially kicks off the season for me. It can be listened to and enjoyed from that day until December 25th, after which it turns into something that makes my skin crawl quite like the sound of fingernails dragged down a blackboard. No longer appropriate, it shouldn't be on in stores or on my radio. Once it's over, it's over, let it die a natural death. Don't prolong it by playing Jingle Bells on December 27th. Pull the fucking plug, be humane.
Now that Halloween has passed, the next logical thing to do is plan for Thanksgiving, not bombard me with all things Christmas. I'm not ready and beating me to death with it will only push out my enthusiasm further than is usual for me. I want to enjoy the fall scents, the pumpkin pie flavored everything, the leaves changing color, sweater weather, and remembering all the things for which I have to be thankful. No "Santa Baby" for me. Not yet. I'll have to avoid department stores and most definitely the friggin mall, which has had Christmas decorations since October. Since I genuinely hate the mall, this won't be a challenge for me.
Another thing I want to mention is the time frame during which having holiday parties is appropriate and when it becomes totally wrong. For example, friends of ours had a Halloween party to attend on this past Saturday. The actual holiday having been on Wednesday, and already celebrated, rendered this particular party inappropriate. The weekend before is always acceptable, especially when the actual holiday falls on a weekday. Once it's over, it's over. See my rant about Christmas, in case you have forgotten. The same rule applies to other holidays. You wouldn't celebrate Thanksgiving a week later on a Wednesday afternoon. What the fuck? Christmas is December 25th and the entire month of December up to and including that day is all fair game for Christmas/Holiday partying. After that, you are skidding into New Year's territory. Give it the respect it deserves.
Would you celebrate Independence Day in August? What fool do you know shooting off fireworks on July 29th? The week before is redneck rehearsal time, and during that time it is usual and customary to hear firecrackers exploding in preparation for the actual day, where they will enhance that performance with shotgun blasts into the night sky. Anyone who has spent any time living in South Florida will back me up on that tradition. I am fairly certain many of the southern states share in that celebratory ritual. Who among you chugs a green beer in April? I dare say none of you. That bit of fun is reserved for March 17th and March 17th only. And nobody hunts for Easter eggs in June. It's just not done.
What I am trying to do is educate this generation about the proper manner in which to celebrate various holidays without detracting from the actual celebration and avoiding the irritation of others raised in an era where Christmas kicked off AFTER the fucking parade. Without getting into the true meaning of Christmas, because heaven knows I don't want to offend the easily offended atheists out there, I just want today's children to be able to enjoy each holiday separately and understand why they exist in our culture. Is that so wrong? Has commercialism poisoned you, too? I, for one, will not succumb to the filthy capitalism that has all but ruined this particular holiday season. No one has the right to take that small joy away from me or my family, and I'll be damned if I'll allow it in my house. Are you friggin kidding me right now???
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