What's really funny, is the fact that more than half the time you attempt to correct someone, you are the one who is wrong. Filled with tons of misinformation, these modern day Einsteins wander the streets looking for opportunities to teach the rest of us the error of our ways, opinions, and methodology. The internet is partially to blame. You can Google anything and find an endless supply of information about it. There's a problem with that. Determining which facts are actually facts and which are a load of shit. The rocket scientists that do all this research never bother to check. They will come at you loaded for bear, tiny little brains filled to the gills with what they believe to be solid knowledge. Poised and ready to pounce the moment you open your mouth on any fucking topic, these buttwads have no fear of looking fucktarded.
Some of the anger I feel stems from my distaste of the opinions of others. As I've said before, if I wanted your opinion, I'd have beaten it out of you. Unsolicited advice and unwanted assistance is enough to make me bust a blood vessel on the spot. Worsened only by total stupidity and lack of facts, I could be forced to skin you alive and feed your carcass to my cat. If you have no idea what you are talking about, don't. Some people may be able to laugh it off, and that's great. Others, who are more like me, will cut you so far down to size you won't know what hit you. Know your audience before you swoop in with your "corrections" to share with us. Should your target be half as dull-witted as you, by all means, go for it.
But, if you are intending to school those of us who are highly educated, naturally intelligent, and basically have scads more common sense than you on your best day, think and rethink before you open your cakehole. Engaging in a battle of wits while completely unarmed is the epitome of stupid. Nobody is an expert on everything, and some are experts on nothing. Knowledge isn't expertise, it's simply having a body of information about a particular subject. A body of information, real facts, not what you found on Wikipedia. In case you weren't aware, window lickers like you contribute to Wikipedia, so what you find isn't always factual. I'm not saying that if a topic interests you, that you shouldn't research the shit out of it. Learning is a lifelong process. But don't carry that research around with you like an advanced degree, spewing statistics and tidbits of nonsense.
Don't attempt to teach me about what it's like to live in a city, for example. I've heard so many self-proclaimed experts try to tell me all about what city life is like. Teaching me about personal safety and using public transportation makes you look like a moron. The fact that you've lived in protected, white suburbia your entire life and you've only ventured into a city with a population closer to that of Charlotte, NC than Manhattan's 8.2 million, tells me your perception may be a bit skewed and that you have no clue of what you speak. Those of us raised in cities, who played on the sidewalks, took buses and subways instead of being chauffeured around by our mommies, and who were latchkey kids unlocking two or three locks just to enter our homes, know all about city life and what it entails. But were aren't afraid of it like you are, which is glaringly obvious by what just fell out of your mouth.
Do tell me all about how only children are based only on what you've read. Because as you know, gross generalities are so applicable to everyone under that heading. We are selfish, unable to share, loners who prefer adult company as children, precocious, socially awkward, overly confident and arrogant, and sensitive to criticism. Perfectionists and overly critical, uncomfortable with conflict, possessive of belongings, and spoiled senseless. Did I cover everything you found in your adolescent psychology textbook? Personally, only a couple of those attributes apply to me, and even less than that apply to other onlies I know. But you're the expert, right? Even though, if you know me, you'd know I am far from selfish, I share easily, I am the least socially awkward person you'll ever meet, and I was not spoiled by any means. Enlighten me more about how I am supposed to behave.
While The Sopranos is no longer on the air, I'm sure you have enough information to share with the class about how East Coast Italians act. Let's see if I can encapsulate. All men are in the mafia but call it waste management, all of their wives are submissive housewives who cook and shop all day long, their kids are loudmouths and spoiled rotten, they have goumadas, and everyone screams and curses around the dinner table. How did I do? Have I covered everything? Allow me to educate you. Most of us did not grow up connected, our fathers did not have goumadas, our moms worked, we weren't spoiled rotten, but I will admit to having one of the loudest houses on the block. Oh please, wow me with your rendition of "fugheddaboutttitt" once more.
Don't embarrass yourself and me along with you anymore. If you want to know more about a topic, and someone you know can help, go to them first. Don't attempt to look up the info and then tell that friend how you know all about X, Y, or Z. It's so uncomfortable to be in your presence when you do that. I cringe FOR you. Then, I contact everyone I know, and bash the shit out of you. We will mock you, laugh cruelly, and move on to more important topics like why the assmonkeys on the XFactor said Queens was nothing but a sea of drugs and gangs. Way more interesting than your lack of knowledge on any given topic. Are you friggin kidding me right now???
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